Is that a mezuzah in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

When Kenny and I returned from Paris (where he proposed- a story to be told in a later posting), we stopped through Dallas to visit my parents before returning to Austin. We had a nice evening with them, which mostly consisted of my mother (Linda) asking us a never-ending series of detailed wedding-planning related questions. Being a Southener, I evidently was supposed have spent the last 27 years (and possibly even my 9 months in the womb) planning my fairytale wedding, so that when the big day arrived (the engagement, that is) I would be able to whip out a detailed PowerPoint presentation complete with fabric sample handouts, cake and caterer tastings, and all relevant guest lists, and present this to my mother along with tea and finger sandwiches served on little doilies. Since I've been planning a career instead of planning a wedding, I did not have the details my mother so desparately needed, because let's face it, 18 months just isn't long enough to plan when the bride has so disgracefully neglected her preengagement planning duties as I have.

But I digress...

So after dinner, we are standing in the driveway of my parents' house talking to their neighbors the Levis (names have been changed to protect the innocent), who I've known since I was 12. The Levis are probably the only Jewish family my parents know in Dallas, so when we announced the engagement to them, so ceremoniously there in the alley, my Mom informed Ron and Robin they were going to be her source for all things Jewish. I wouldn't be surprised if next time I return there's a For Sale sign in their yard.
Let me preface this story by saying that my parents recently purchased a very large plasma TV, and my dad had evidently asked Ron for help hanging it. He found someone else, so Ron was off the hook, but Ron didn't know this at the time of the meeting in the alley. Back to the story. After the hugs and Mazel Tovs, Ron says to my dad, "Dwight, did you ever find someone to help you hang that thing?", referring to the TV. Ron's teenage son Aaron looks at everyone, slightly confused as to what "thing" his dad was talking about, and says, "Oh, the mezuzah?" Everyone just died, and poor Aaron turned beet red. So much is lost in the retelling, but it was a fantastic moment. What makes it even funnier is that Kenny's sister later told me that my parents actually didn't understand what it was that Aaron said- the closest word they could conjure up was "mistletoe". We have some learning to do...

So for all the Jews out there, take the Lord's commandments and bind them as a sign upon your arm and let them be tefillin between your eyes. However, be sure you hang some mistletoe on the doorposts of your home.