so how did you propose, anyway? part 1.
that's always the first question after people find out i'm engaged, and it doesn't always sound so good when i say i proposed in a bar. but it was a good proposal - the way it happened was spontaneous and completely unexpected, though the proposal itself was some time in the making.
cindy graduated law school in december and spent several grueling months studying for the bar. we decided to take a really nice trip over spring break to celebrate her taking the bar and being done w/ everything. we talked about going to a lot of places - malta, prague, poland, hungary, mexico. obviously the hell out of dodge. paris was brought up once or twice, but i never really had any affinity for france or french, even though cindy loves both. she studied french for a long time, lived in france for a while, she was really into it. but around mid-january or so, i started veering our plans back toward france. this in itself was somewhat odd, but obviously not so odd that it was perceived by cindy as a noticeably strategic move towards engagement. all of us, though, know that my intentions were to propose in paris.
about 3 weeks before we were set to leave, a bunch of us went out for drinks to celebrate cindy's completion of the bar that afternoon. there were drinks to be had at crown&anchor, el arroyo, and trudy's. not a bad selection when your agenda is to get wasted on good drinks, good atmosphere, good food, or any combination thereof. as we finished the night at trudy's, and started walking to the parking lot, our friend shana walked up front w/ me and let me know that she knew that i was going to propose to cindy in paris.
"oh really?" i asked. "what makes you think i plan on doing that?"
"come on! it's paris for cryin out loud! of course you're going to propose." shana said.
"wow. i really hope she hasn't been expecting this, b/c i'm not planning on proposing yet." i countered. i said it really convincingly, too. shana totally bought my story.
a few days later, cindy was visiting her parents in dallas, and i brought up my little conversation w/ shana when we were talking on the phone.
"you know, shana told me that she knows i'm going to propose in paris. have you guys been talking about this?" i asked her.
"no - i haven't brought this up to anybody, i swear. i mean, of course people bring it up, but it's not like i start it." she replied. now, cindy was not really entirely sure where i stood, as our relationship went through a rocky time in the recent past, and i had been occupying that typically male area of commitment-phobia.
"well, i don't want you to have any dashed hopes, or be disappointed if you're expecting something to happen and it doesn't. of course i'm going to propose, but it's not going to be then." there's no better way to throw someone off the track than to be so brutally forthcoming about your plans that they end up on the verge of tears and very clearly upset. being suave has not always been my strong suit, even though i tried quite hard to put this both firmly and delicately. of course, to anyone on the outside of this situation, you'd immediately peg that dismissal of a paris proposal as a sure bet that it would happen in paris. but you are on the outside, and didn't have your dreams dashed violently against the rocks like a problem child beating a baby seal. i also had always made a big deal about the engagement being spontaneous and romantic - nothing so obvious as a proposal in paris. i mean, come on - who wouldn't see that coming a mile away?
suffice to say, cindy didn't really talk to me too much for a few days after that.
cindy graduated law school in december and spent several grueling months studying for the bar. we decided to take a really nice trip over spring break to celebrate her taking the bar and being done w/ everything. we talked about going to a lot of places - malta, prague, poland, hungary, mexico. obviously the hell out of dodge. paris was brought up once or twice, but i never really had any affinity for france or french, even though cindy loves both. she studied french for a long time, lived in france for a while, she was really into it. but around mid-january or so, i started veering our plans back toward france. this in itself was somewhat odd, but obviously not so odd that it was perceived by cindy as a noticeably strategic move towards engagement. all of us, though, know that my intentions were to propose in paris.
about 3 weeks before we were set to leave, a bunch of us went out for drinks to celebrate cindy's completion of the bar that afternoon. there were drinks to be had at crown&anchor, el arroyo, and trudy's. not a bad selection when your agenda is to get wasted on good drinks, good atmosphere, good food, or any combination thereof. as we finished the night at trudy's, and started walking to the parking lot, our friend shana walked up front w/ me and let me know that she knew that i was going to propose to cindy in paris.
"oh really?" i asked. "what makes you think i plan on doing that?"
"come on! it's paris for cryin out loud! of course you're going to propose." shana said.
"wow. i really hope she hasn't been expecting this, b/c i'm not planning on proposing yet." i countered. i said it really convincingly, too. shana totally bought my story.
a few days later, cindy was visiting her parents in dallas, and i brought up my little conversation w/ shana when we were talking on the phone.
"you know, shana told me that she knows i'm going to propose in paris. have you guys been talking about this?" i asked her.
"no - i haven't brought this up to anybody, i swear. i mean, of course people bring it up, but it's not like i start it." she replied. now, cindy was not really entirely sure where i stood, as our relationship went through a rocky time in the recent past, and i had been occupying that typically male area of commitment-phobia.
"well, i don't want you to have any dashed hopes, or be disappointed if you're expecting something to happen and it doesn't. of course i'm going to propose, but it's not going to be then." there's no better way to throw someone off the track than to be so brutally forthcoming about your plans that they end up on the verge of tears and very clearly upset. being suave has not always been my strong suit, even though i tried quite hard to put this both firmly and delicately. of course, to anyone on the outside of this situation, you'd immediately peg that dismissal of a paris proposal as a sure bet that it would happen in paris. but you are on the outside, and didn't have your dreams dashed violently against the rocks like a problem child beating a baby seal. i also had always made a big deal about the engagement being spontaneous and romantic - nothing so obvious as a proposal in paris. i mean, come on - who wouldn't see that coming a mile away?
suffice to say, cindy didn't really talk to me too much for a few days after that.
posted by The Texan Transplant at 8:25 PM
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